Working On Self Care

 Yesterday it rained most of the day. The high got to 12C. This morning it is mainly clear and 5C. Today is supposed to be a mix of sun and clouds with some showers. The high is to get to 12C. 

Lifestyle

I worked on cleaning more cabinets and a couple I didn't touch as they were clean and organized. The ones I did clean needed doing as I use them all the time, especially the one that holds my baking supplies. I have 2 cupboard doors left to wipe down and I am done the cupboards. The only things left are to clean the inside of the fridge and scrub the window.  

I was out most of the day visiting my friend. She is moving and has wanted me to see what she has left and to help her with some things. I got us muffins and coffee and spent 4 hours with her. She is doing really well with her packing and I helped her sort some paper work. We had lots of laughs and talked about things about stress, anxiety, etc. which we both have. I told her I was going to really miss her when she moves and will miss our visits. 

I did not sew or knit. I gave myself permission to do nothing. I did miss knitting but am not sure what I will knit next. 

I did some more reading on my circle of control and that led me thinking about the anxiety I can have. I have had anxiety for many years and am finally admitting what causes it. 

    I over explain myself as I feel I need to justify everything even when no on has asked. 

    Replaying conversations in my head - over analyzing what I had said and thinking I said the wrong thing. I also will over analyze what others said about me which I need to ignore.

    Struggling to relax and always feeling like I need to be productive. 

    Procrastination on some important things which causes stress in my life. 

    Playing out "what if" in my mind as I think of the worst case scenario. 

    Feeling exhausted as my nervous system is tired. 

I did feel guilty not doing a lot yesterday but I refused to let it bother me. I just reminded myself I deserved a day of doing nothing. I wasn't really anxious about taking the day off.

I had to stop myself from over thinking last night. I read where some people are concerned about poor sales at their spring craft bazaars. They understand people are tighten their belts due to the cost of living soaring. I started to worry about the craft bazaar I want to sell at this November. I reminded myself that the success of the craft bazaar is outside of my circle of control. I reminded myself this wasn't income for me to survive. I made myself park my thoughts and relax. Telling myself that what is left will be donated or taken to the thrift store helped a lot. It was part of my plan in the first place. 

Marianne, I think lemon pudding with gingersnaps would be divine. We do not make the desserts for banquets, we order pies which are easier for us to put out on a dessert table. 

Today

I have to go out and make sandwiches this morning. I am not sure how the rest of my day will look. I may have to help daughter-in-law prep for the dinner tomorrow night or I may have to help serve at the celebration of life after lunch. I am going with the flow though I do have to be home to get flowers from daughter for Mother's Day. 

Until the next time...............................................................