How To Decide How Much Is Too Much

 I am on a journey to live alone in my senior years. Though I have decluttered and purged for the past 14 years, I am still working through the items I still own and have in the house I want to age in. It has become a thoughtful process in which I will document here. Come back to see how I am doing. 

Oct. 29, 2024

I have begun to declutter once again as I paint my upstairs from a yellow beige to a calm warmer light grey. As I complete an area, I realize how my depression has lifted especially now that the days are getting shorter. The rooms are brighter and calmer for me to live in. This job won't be finished until at least February as I am slow. 

It is a big step for me to paint as I have been in rehab for a hip issue. In the past year I have gone from limited mobility from a hip that was tipped forward to having it in place, from muscles so tight several had to be dry needled to me being able to stretch them almost free of pain. I have more mobility but I have also promised my family that I will only do what I can with the ladder I have and will have one of them to be with me when I need a taller ladder. I do not want to fall and not be able to live here. Safety is first and foremost in my mind and life.

I am still working away at decluttering. It seems to be a cycle that I am stuck in. At the moment, I like to use a term someone coined as "peeling away the clutter". Clutter does come to live in everyone's house if you don't focus on having routines in place to eliminate it. We tend to forget, get busy, and just plain ignore it. I do all three. I need to focus on a few rules.

There is a fourth one that haunts me at times. I mean haunts me. It is supporting small businesses so they can survive. It has caused me to over buy and regret those purchases. I am slowly working through them. I support a small mobile knitting store. This lady travels a lot but only comes to our area twice a year. I buy enough yarn to last that long. I knit it up as fast as I can. It is a business I can support. The other business is a quilt shop. I have bought fabric from them for projects and have bought some fabric I have regretted. I am finding that I can support them by having them long arm my quilts and to buy only the fabric I need for the project at hand. I still struggle with this one but am learning a lot about myself as I work through my thoughts and feelings. 

The Joy of Less by Francine Jay was discussed in this video. I have watched it several times and am trying to find the book to read online. I love these points from the book. 

• You are not what you own. You are special not the things you own. In the past I thought what I owned defined me. In some ways it did and in other ways it didn't. What other people's opinions are don't matter and that I can live the life I want. It is only then that what I own will define me. 

• We buy to indulge our fantasy selves. One example that hit home used by Francine Joy was: "A knitter/sewer/scrapbooker/woodworker extraordinaire with enough supplies to fill a craft store when you rarely ever complete a project?" That was me and I had a stash that was full of projects I would never complete. I have projects planned and I will do them but I need to pare down on things I know I will never complete. I am working on that. It is hard to let go of items you have bought for your fantasy self. But they don't own me and I can let go of them which I have done in the past and need to continue doing as time goes on. 

• Being a caretaker of all our things can be a full time job. More stuff means more stress. It doesn't mean we have to get rid of it all. In some areas of my house I have 50% less than I use to and know it means 50% less cleaning and maintaining. Not bringing items in to fill that space means less debt. The areas I am having problems with, I will continue to work on them letting go of items that no longer bring me joy or I will never use.

• Be a good gatekeeper. Decide what I will let into my house and what I won't. What will help me age in my home. What can I enjoy without owning. What do I need that will help me in my home. What will bring me joy. One thing I do know is having a vacuum cleaner I can handle easily each time I go to use. It will come into my home as I know I will use it on a regular basis. I see this becomes making smart choices in what you buy and what you stop to admire. 

I have a lot of the upstairs decluttered. I am working through what is left to give to family so they can enjoy those items. What I know no one wants, I will either donate or sell. It isn't a lot but I need to deal with it. Downstairs will be another story for another day.