Why Am I A Wreck

 Yesterday started out cloudy and then the sun came out. The high got to 3.2C. This morning it is clear and -4C. We are to have sun with increasing cloudiness and a high of 7C today. 

Lifestyle

I did not do yoga yesterday morning. I was not mentally wanting to do much of anything so I skipped it and wish I hadn't. I went and got groceries instead. 

I struggled all day feeling tired and out of sorts. My IBS flared up and that annoyed me. I wanted to sleep, I was restless, and I felt stressed. I could not put a finger on the why and the what. It felt like everything was building up and I had no idea why. I couldn't even work my way through it. I was a mess but held it all together somehow. 

I was awake during the night with the IBS and was able to think about the why and the what. I still have no idea what food I ate that could have given me the IBS attack. I thought a lot about that. I have been stressed and worrying a lot lately. I have put pressure on myself to get a bunch of sewing done and that could have triggered both the IBS and the tired feeling. I have been worried about family as they have been sore and hurting. And to top it all off, I could be having the winter blahs that can hit at this time of the year. Once I settled those thoughts, I slept deeply and for about 5 hours. I am hoping I am over the worst of this. 

The other thing that may have made me off is my body and mind are tired of having low glucose levels. I scrapped my eating plan and had extra carbs for lunch and I was still in good shape at dinner time. I was actually full so had a small portion a high carb dinner. 

I was out for dinner at family's last night. I picked grandson up from school and took him home. I really enjoyed our talk last night while coming home. We had a lovely lasagna dinner and a good visit. I was home early so daughter-in-law could rest and have heat on her sore hip and back. She and grandson had to be up at 5 am to play a 7:30 am soccer game in the city. 

Sewing and Crafting

My thoughts turned to why I was feeling like I have been and part is pushing myself to finish projects by a given date. Though I am enjoying the projects I am working on, I am pushing myself to get things done and my timelines may be causing me some stress. 

I worked on the doll's chemise and got it cut out and the front opening done including the hand sewing. 

It needs a good pressing. I am not ready to sew the sleeves to the front and back (French seams) and then pleat it. 

I then worked on the cardinal quilt and hand sewed the seam together and then quilted it. I also have sewing the two pieces together and have that seam to hand sew. 

I am pleased with how the row looks so far. 

Once the red piece between the cardinals is quilted, I can sew rows 1 and 2 together. 

This quilt has been a bit of a stress factor in my life this month. I want to finish it up by the end of February so I am pushing myself to get it done. I love sewing the blocks and quilting as I go but I need to realize that I may not finish this quilt by the end of the month. If I don't I can't beat myself up for not meeting my goal. It was something I thought about during the night and I must be kind to myself. I have no deadlines to meet as this is for me. 

Knitting

I did knit last night and got 21 rounds done on the first sock. An easy pattern to knit once you remember you are not knitting ribbing. 

I have made knitting into a stressful thing by setting a goal to knit so much each night. I have to stop that and relax and enjoy the process. 

Thoughts

    There was a bit of a thread in my thoughts at midnight last night. I am setting goals each day to meet and I am stressing myself to meet them. The stress and worrying is a big factor to me having severe IBS attacks. I look back at shovelling the driveway. I had to have it cleaned off in case of an emergency. My OCD kicked in and I am now trying to turn it off. I know using my planner will help me focus on how much I should do each day vs trying to do it all at once. 

    I relaxed a bit this morning when I saw the rain for the weekend isn't happening. The snow forecasted for Wednesday has been reduced from periods of snow to flurries with some snow. I was worrying about both.

    I have decided to continue with the "use what you have" for sewing and crafting. I am enjoying going through the stash looking for fabrics to sew. The doll's chemise is yellow and I am hoping that I can use purple for next months's project (a dress). I have fun pairing up the Christmas fabric to make bags that we can use or I can sell at a craft bazaar. While doing these pairings, I am relaxed and having fun. There is no need to be buying fabric when I am having fun at home. 

Today

The focus today is to clean my bedroom. I will do as much as I can and then finish it tomorrow. I will do yoga as I really want to. Today's sewing will be the French seams on the doll's chemise, hand sewing the seam on row 2, and attaching it to row one. No more than that. If there is time, I want to play with ideas for paper crafts on the Cricut. Tonight I will knit and watch TV. I plan on trying to relax today in hopes of feeling better. 

Until the next time...........................................................................