Raw Emotions

Yesterday was a grey damp day. There is no data for today but the high got to about 15.2C. There were showers. This morning it is 12C and we are to have sunshine and a high of 15C. 

Lifestyle

It seemed as if was drizzling, misting, or raining when I looked outside. It didn't do any of the above when I was out. The greyness added to my sadness which I didn't care for. 

I picked up the mail on my way to the insurance broker. The house insurance papers were in the mail and it is cheaper than last year. Car insurance is also cheaper for a couple of reasons one being I got CAA. I paid for the house insurance and will pay for the car insurance once it comes due. 

I popped into the bank and talked to the financial advisor. She is a very nice person and after a bit of telling her why, she agrees I should be debt free. We exchanged pictures of cats and had a couple of good laughs. 

I had a nap after lunch as I needed to shut out the world. I was emotionally drained as I am now dealing with what I want. The "we" is no longer. I also realized how much I miss the "we" which is such a raw feeling. 

My throat has been a bit sore for the last week so I did a Covid rapid test last night. Negative. 

Sewing

I did go and get more of the fabric I need for Christmas gifts. I'm so happy to have that done so I can sew what I need and not worry about running out. 

I finished cross hatching the place mats. I was going to quit for the day but cut two lengths of binding, sewed them together (stripes match) and started to sew it on. I did trim a small section and turned the binding. I'm in love. 

I am going to make 2 - 12" square pads for the table. I'm hoping I have enough Insulbrite for them. Piecing the Insulbrite may become my next job. 

Once these projects are done, I will be making a shopping bag to put the placemats and pads into and they will be shipped to daughter in her last box of 2022. 

Knitting

I knit and I unknit. I said the row out loud and still made a mistake. Instead of knit 3, I knit 2 in one spot not once but twice and then botched the cable in one row. I wasn't focused. I'm doing okay on the sweater and it is looking cute. It will get finished and, one day down the road, I may knit it again. 

Thoughts

    As things come to a closure for the "we" part of our lives, I feel raw and emotionally drained. Though we were well prepared to get it done as quickly as possible, one is never prepared for the emotions that go with it. 

    After having my "coping" nap, I realized how much we had prepared our lives for me to pass away first. Everything was in place for the Spousal Unit to be financially set when he would be alone. It was what we had thought would happen. In the process, we did make sure I would be equally as financially set if he passed first but we never thought that would happen. I am now dealing with all the emotions that go with what actually did take place. 

Today

I am heading into the city to shop. I will save going to Fabricville until later so am going to Dartmouth instead. I am hoping to be home around noon. Depending on how tired I am, I would like to get more binding cut and ready to sew onto the placemats. I'll try to knit tonight. I didn't sleep well last night. 

Until the next time............................................................