Optimistic In October

October 1

Though I was busy on the last day of September, I kept feeling like I was a failure. The last few months have been tough and it has shown on me. I have been tired, lethargic, and cranky. I have had a lot of pain which has joined the circle of doom. I turned to eating comfort foods to help ease the situation but it didn't work. I turned myself into feeling like I was a mess and a failure. 

I had two wake up calls that are making me come out of the doom and gloom. One is how much weight I have gained and the second is my blood sugar is creeping up a bit. Not to where I will need medication but if I don't take control of it, I will have to. And I don't want to.

There have been other things that have caused me undue worry and stress. Daughter's and grandson's situations has kept me on edge. They have been stressful and I am hoping that the stress will ease off as I step away from it. 

I know I have been cranky. I have been critical of what people are doing when I watch videos. It has been creeping in slowly the past two months. I need to stop being negative and critical and start being positive. I need to adjust my attitude. 

My plans for October are less than usual with the focus more on me. 

    Eat healthy. This means less eating out, having more healthy foods in the house, prepping meals in advance, and not allowing myself to comfort eat. Use measuring spoons, scale, cups, and track, track, track. 

    Track my weight and blood sugar daily so I can make sure I am on track. I need to be much healthier when I see the doctor in February. I know I am not healthy when I see him in November. 

    Try to move more each day. I will start off small and add a bit each day. Work on stairs as they are hard for me to go down.

    Shut out the political noise as it stresses me. What is happening is out of my control. I can do what is within my control and that is it. 

    Enjoy my sewing without putting undue pressure on myself. I did that for August and September and it was really hard on me mentally. I need to do projects I enjoy more than I need to do projects that give me high levels of stress.

    Continue cleaning my house. Focus on small areas at a time. 

I need to remember that I can focus on myself and not feel guilty about it. I can slow down and enjoy the scenery as the trees are turning. I can enjoy a day out and I can take time to prepare meals. I can say no when I have to. I need to remember that I am the only person who can take care of myself.